Sardar jokes

Husband : ( Returning late form work ) "Good evening Dear, I'm now

logged in."

Wife : Have you brought the ring ?

Husband : Bad command or filename.

Wife : But I told you in the morn...

Husband : Erroneous syntax.

Wife : What about my new blouse ?

Husband : Variable not found ...

Wife : At least, give me your Credit Card, I want to do some shopping.

Husband : Sharing Violation. Access denied ...

Wife : Do you love me or do you only love computers or are you just being

funny ?

Husband : Too many parameters. Abort!...

Wife : It was a grave mistake that I married an idiot like you.

Husband : Data type mismatch.

Wife : You are a useless nut.

Husband : Default Parameter.

Wife : What about your Salary ?

Husband : Access denied. File in use...

Wife : Who was in the car this morning ?

Husband : System unstable. Press CTRL + ALT + DEL to Reboot


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ROBERT JOKES

Raabert : Baas, iss aadmi ne hamaare saath gaddaree kee hai..

Ajeet : Iss kuththe ki ek haath mein titan ki ghadi aur doosre haath mein

hmt ki ghadi

pehnaado.

Raabert : Lekin baas, yeh to gaddaar hai.

Ajeet : Hum jaante hain, raabert. Isko bathaana hai ki ab yeh do ghadi ka

mehmaan hai.

Raabert : Baas, Sona kahan hai? (Where is the gold?)

Ajeet : Saara beach hamaara hai. Kahi bhee so jao raabert.

Raabert and Ajeet are escaping in a boat and suddenly there's a hole in the boat and

water starts coming in. Raabert is anxious.

Raabert : Ab kya hoga baas...?

Ajeet : Ek aur hole kardo, Raabert...

Raabert : Ek aur hole..?!!

Ajeet : Ek hole pe 'IN' likh do aur doosre hole par 'OUT' likh do. Paani

IN mein aayega aur

OUT se baahar jaayega...

Ajeet : Is gaddaar ko shaampein mein dubaa do.

Raabert : Lekin kyon, baas?

Ajeet : 'Shame se' nahin to 'Pain' se mar jaayega...

Mona comes in with a proposal to get married

Mona :

Baas, Humne Toni se shaadi karni hai

Ajeet : Mona yeh bilkul nahi ho sakta

Mona : Lekin baas, yeh kyon?

Ajeet : Mona, tumne agar Toni se shaadi ke to yahan bahut monatony ho

jaigi.

Mona goes ahead, gets married and has twin boys

Raabert : Baas, Mona ke judwa ladkae hua hai.

Ajeet : Theek hai humne inke naam bhi soch liye pehle ka Peter aur

doosra Repeater

Later, Mona has twin girls

Raabert : Baas, Mona ke judwa ladkiya hua hai.

Ajeet : Theek hai humne inke naam bhi soch liye - pehli ka Kate aur doosri

DupliKate

Raabert : Baas, mein aaj kaam pe nahin aaoonga. Mujhe stomach ache

hai.

Ajeeth : Abay bavakoof ! Har kisi ko stomach ek hi hotha hai.

Ajeeth : Raabert, is gaddhar ko is duniya se aazad kar dho. Iski

laash ko Police Estation

ke saamne phenk dho. Aur is ke side mein ek suyi bhonk dho.

Raabert : Lekin baas side mein suyi kyon ?

Ajeeth : Thake Police samjhe ki ye suyiside hai.

Raabert : Baas meri beevi ko theen ladke payida ho gaye hai. Mein

inka naam kya rakhoon

Ajeeth : Phele ka naam Peter rakho, dusre ka naam Repeater rakho

aur theesre ka naam

Chin Chin Choo rakhko.

Raabert : Lekin baas thesre ka naam Chin Chin Choo kyon ?

Ajeeth : Are bevakoof, woh isliye ke duniya mein har theesra

bachha Chinese hotha hai.

Mickey Mouse : Ajit, Muzhe Ramayan padhnee hai.

Ajeet : Raabert, isse wall peh chipka do

Raabert : yeh kyon baas?

Ajeet : Taaki yeh waal-mickey kehlaygaa aur usse Ramayan apne aap

samazh me

ayegee!

Scene: Ajit murders a man.

Ajeet : Raabert, Is aadmi ko Hero Honda ki tank mein dal do.

Raabert : kyon baas?

Ajeet : Fill it,shut it,forget it!

Boss : Raabert!

Rab : Yes, bass?

Boss : Yeh "bus" mei kuch hawa daal do.

Rab : Lekin, kyon bass?

Boss : Yeh bus "Airbus" ban jayega.

Robert : boss, China se Mr. Hu aayee hain.

Ajit : Goli maar do. Hu mar jaane par humor ban ke sab ko hasaayenge

Scene: Ajeet thouroughly disgusted with Mona da..arrling's typing.

Ajeet : Raaberrt, Mona ke dono hathon ko kaat do.

Raabert : Magar kyoon baas?

Ajeet : Typing to nahi atee, kamsekam shaarthand to seekh legi.

Ajeet : Raabert, in kutton ke saamne yeh Compooter laga do aur debugger

starrt kar do.

Raabert : Lekin kyoon, baas?

Ajeet : Saale Checkpoint mein atak jayenge.

Ajeet : Raabert, Test Match mein kyaa ho raha hai ?

Raabert : Boss, Vivian Richards chhakke pe chhakka maar raha hai.

Ajeet : Saaleh ko sabak sikhana padega. Lunch break mein usse phone

milana.

Raabert : Yes Boss.

Ajeet: : (on phone, to Richards): Veeveeyun Reechards, tumhari Maa

hamare kabze mein

hai .......

TALK BETWEEN IT GUY AND A LABOURER

IT guy - (Asks worker) What do you have?

Daily Wage Construction Worker - .......stays * quite*

IT guy - I have Money, Name, Stock Options What do

you have?

Daily Wage Construction Worker - (Softly) I have work.

                         interviewer

Subj: electrical engg

People come up with peculiar or funny answers in interviews or exams:

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C. as

compared to D.C. ?

Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more

space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC ?

Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is DC. If it gets stuck, it

was AC.

Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an induction motor?

Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put

back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?

Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)

Interviewer: Stop! Stop!

Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?

Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.

External (to student) : " Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC to pass through

?

Student: See, a capacitor is like this ---| |--- , OK. DC Comes straight, like this -----

-----, and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, Up DOWN and jumps right

over the capacitor!"


                                  Examiner                   

Examiner : "What is a step-up transformer?"

Student : "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."

Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"

Student (hesitantly):"Uh - A transfomer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"

Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the

ground?"

(student knows he is caught -- can't answer)

Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"

Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"
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SOFTWARE HUSBAND